The Hidden Cost of Attending Millsaps

The new fountain that is now filled with a garden on the Plaza. Photo Courtesy of Bailey Smith.

Gracie Bellnap

Contributing Writer

To: The Faculty and Staff of Millsaps College

From: The Students of Millsaps College

Below you will find a list of charges that have accumulated this semester. Just as we are given an invoice at the end of each semester, typically with several charges that we do not feel responsible for, the students have carefully calculated numerous charges to compensate for the lacking services and resources on campus.

Dorms:

Defective air conditioner…………………………………………….. $2,000

Possible mold spot in shower……………………………………………. $100

Confirmed mold spot in shower…………………………………………… $105

Window that does not close all the way…………………………………… $250

New dryer already broken……………………………………………….. $800

Brown water…………………………………………………….Lead Test Kit

Foreign pubes

Dorm sink………………………………………………………. $50

Dorm Shower…………………………………………………….. $50

Public restrooms………………………………………………… $60

Caf:

All soda fountain drinks empty………………………………………….. $60

Absence of ice cream cones…………………………………………..Your Joy

Squishy fruit in salad bar………………………………………… $10/grape

Spoiled milk………………………………………………………….. Stomach Pains

Partially raw chicken………………………………………………….. $150

Leggett:

Broken outlets………………………………………………………… $30

Wobbly tables……………………………………………………. $400/table leg

Television that is never turned on………………………………………. $800

Really uncomfortable couches……………………………………………. $20

Reuben’s:

Out of Reuben’s sauce……………………………………………… $100,000

Out of mustard…………………………………………………….. $20,000

Out of ketchup………………………………………………………$20,000

Out of chicken tenders……………………………………………… $11,000

Out of burgers……………………………………………………….$8,000

Out of onion rings………………………………………………….. $90,000

Food served in foil……………………………………………………. $100

Campus Maintenance:

Faculty parked in student parking spaces………………………. Half your salary

Unavailable parking in overflow lot…………………………………..$900/spot

Blocked sidewalk due to Christian Center construction…………………..$100/day

Roach infestations…………………………………………………….. $800

Fountain filled with dirt instead of water…………………………… $100,001

Mill-Cat missing its tail………………………………………………. $69

Late package delivery, even though Amazon said it was here 2 days ago……….. $20

$50,000 education……………………………………………………… Priceless

We are aware that not all of the faculty and staff is at fault for each of these charges, but because nobody has admitted fault and we did not feel like checking any cameras, you will all pay for each of these charges. It is understood that a considerable amount of inflation exists for each of these charges. That is to ensure that it can be completely covered, so we can pay for other things with that money that we just feel like we need, but not necessarily any things that you want.

Of course, this invoice is meant for your general entertainment only. Despite all this, I still love Millsaps and I am appreciative for all they do for the students.

1 Comment on The Hidden Cost of Attending Millsaps

  1. Tori Barbier // October 6, 2017 at 1:55 pm // Reply

    Everything from this article is accurate and then some. Though not mentioned, there are other “charges” that we students and faculty suffer from. As a junior, I personally hope that in five years when I come back to Millsaps as an alum, all of these less than ideal living problems will be fixed and hardly remembered. As my years at Saps have been accumulating, the quality of the Saps experience has been on the decline. Future generation should be getting beneficial changes and not a list of “charges” as Gracie puts it. I still really love attending Saps, however, it is not because of the campus living quality.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: