Bandwagon Avoidance 101

by Garrett Coble

by Garrett Coble
opinions editor

A little less than three weeks ago, football season finally kicked off and made ESPN watchable again. While I am certainly happy the Sports-Center Top 10 will no longer contain exclusively homeruns and goals, there is a sense of sadness for the upcoming season. As a Seattle Seahawks and Nebraska Cornhuskers fan, I have known unrelenting disappointment year after year. Yet with Seattle’s recent success (and the Huskers continued mediocrity), I’ve developed an easy strategy to avoiding the title of “bandwagon fan.”

1. Don’t Blow Your Cover

Everyone knows that fan who shouts his fealty whenever his newest team pulls out a win. Don’t be that guy. Though success and wins are something you’ve never had to deal with, just fake it ‘till you make it. Discard the fist-pump in favor of the silent head nod and remain in quiet support. If confronted directly about what team you root for, only out yourself if you’ve prepared adequate reasoning for your choice in athletic team. For example, I was born in Seattle and thus choose to support the typically floundering birds.

2. Don’t Overreact

The typical bandwagoner takes the downs just as hard as he takes the ups. When your rookie quarterback’s luck finally runs out and the interceptions start coming more frequently than the receptions, don’t lose your temper. This is your comfort zone; you know how to lose like it’s your 9 to 5. When all goes south simply keep the rage (and tears) on the inside and the resignation on the outside. There’s always next year. Then again, why would it be any different?

3. Hold on for Dear Life

Remember the season 34 years ago when the stars perfectly aligned and your team posted a winning record? Never forget that obscure moment of glory and constantly remind your fellow fans of that shining second. Were you born? No. Do you care? No. For example, as long as my memory serves, Nebraska has been nothing but disappointing. Despite this, I constantly remind the rabid SEC fans of Nebraska’s achievements in the 80s and early 90s. It’s all I have to hold onto.

I can only hope I’ve imparted some wisdom. Hopefully those of you who, like myself, support perennially poor teams (Ole Miss/State) will have time to gloat and implement this. More realistically, the losses will overshadow the wins, but you’ll still have your honor.

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